Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Bottom of the Bell Curve

This has been a tough week. The money is gone, I don't know how I'm going to make it, and work has been a drag. I cried there today. I HATE when I do that, and once it starts I get so mad at myself for doing it that I cry even more. Scot was short with me when I asked him to help me with something and after already being on the edge from other people I normally like being snippy with me, it just made me really sad. You see, I think I like Scot. As in, what would it be like to have a relationship with him? I used to think Scot liked me too, but I don't anymore. It's been seven years since my divorce and longer than that since I've been in a relationship, I can't even imagine what to do. I think at this age, my chances are gone. I truly believe that my place on this earth is to raise my son the best I can and then live the rest of my days out alone.

I must think of one good thing before I go to bed... the weather has been absolutely perfect the past couple of days and it has been sublime to just walk outside and breathe the air.

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