This has been a tough week.  The money is gone, I don't know how I'm going to make it, and work has been a drag.  I cried there today.  I HATE when I do that, and once it starts I get so mad at myself for doing it that I cry even more.  Scot was short with me when I asked him to help me with something and after already being on the edge from other people I normally like being snippy with me, it just made me really sad.  You see, I think I like Scot.  As in, what would it be like to have a relationship with him?  I used to think Scot liked me too, but I don't anymore.  It's been seven years since my divorce and longer than that since I've been in a relationship, I can't even imagine what to do.  I think at this age, my chances are gone.  I truly believe that my place on this earth is to raise my son the best I can and then live the rest of my days out alone.
I must think of one good thing before I go to bed...  the weather has been absolutely perfect the past couple of days and it has been sublime to just walk outside and breathe the air.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
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